


Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dies

by clowncumjar



Series: Homestuck: Into the Cummyverse [5]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Death, Human Trafficking, Justice, M/M, cute ship stuff, er-, pleasedonttakethisseriously, troll trafficking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-18 06:48:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21740143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clowncumjar/pseuds/clowncumjar
Summary: cronus and kankri have a pleasant drive to work
Relationships: Cronus Ampora/Kankri Vantas
Series: Homestuck: Into the Cummyverse [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1565008
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dies

“vwe been drivwin’ forevwer, vwhen the fuck ah vwe gonna fuckin get there huh”  
“Man shut up this isn’t a new r9ute 9r anything we’ve driven this path 6ef9re”  
“vwell ya sure are takin yer svweet-ass time”  
“I’m g9ing the speed limit!”  
“no vwonder”

Kankri and Cronus have embarked on a car journey. Kankri’s in the driver’s seat, being responsible and staying under 50 mph. Cronus, riding shotgun, is quite obviously unhappy about the speed at which this excursion is going. He’s stuck his elbow out the window, leaning against the car door, smoking a cigarette. He sighs and turns on the radio. His favorite song, GFDI Dave, was on. He smiled. This song always had a really fun break near the middle. Kankri blushed at the sound of his brother singing on the radio. Cronus definitely noticed.

“thinkin bout yer sexy little bro?” he sneered. Kankri stammered.  
“Yes 100% whenever I hear this s9ng I like t9 pretend he’s singing t9 me”  
“that fun break near the middle’s pretty nice, huh”  
“Yyyyeahah,, , I like t9 im agin e he’ s mastur 6atin g t9 me. durin gt aht par t , , , ,”

Kankri has started to become erect thinking about his brother. Wait fuck this is way too soon  
Cronus notices it and slaps it hard. Kankri screams bloody murder

“nasty piece ah shit stop gettin horny during our traffick run”  
“I can’t heeelllllllllllpppp it Cr9nus I’m celi6aaaaattttttteeeeee I have n9 9utlet f9r my incestu9us desiresssssss” Kankri whined, his balls still sore from the violet’s tender touch. Cronus quirked an eyebrow up at that remark and smirked a bit.

“issat so?” he crooned, taking a puff from his cigarette and choking on the smoke, throwing up in his mouth a little. He maintained direct eye contact with Kankri as the smallest bit of bile escaped his lips. He quickly licked it back in and swallowed. No one suspected a thing.  
“in that case, kanny, vwhy dontcha relax a lil’ bit? maybe vwe can release some o’ that tension…” cronus’ hand reached under kankri’s sweater and began to unzip his high-ass pants “…togethah”

Kankri blushed candy red as his eyes glanced off the road and on to the scene developing in his crotchal area. He watches as Cronus takes his pants’ zipper all the way down, gliding over the bump that’s formed from his bulge pushing against his underwear. He moans a little, and Cronus notices him watching and freaks out  
“KANKRI VWANTAS KEEP YER EYES AHN THE FUCKIN’ ROAD DUMBASS”  
Kankri’s orbs snap back to the road and he rights the car, ensuring that they aren’t going off-course. Or worse, off-road. Cronus hasn’t stopped though.

With kankri’s longpants fully unzipped, he goes in for the kill, pulling the mutant’s underwear down and revealing his candy red, slimy, gooey, long, gelatinous, snake-like, oozing, sticky, flexible, tapering, textured, slick, delicious, sexy, writhing, hungry, mesmerizing, thick, lustrous bulge. cronus immediately put that shit in his mouth  
He started Doin Business, suckin down on kankri’s hot weenie. The mutant groaned and struggled to keep his eyes on the road. He could only imagine what the scene below him looked like.

As it turns out, cronus is FUCKING GOOD at suckin dick. like real good. he’s probably practiced with like water bottles n shit or something, because he is doing absolutely fan-fucking-tastic at taking kankri’s bulge. He’s swirling his tongue around all sexy-like, and the bumpiness of the car traveling down the road is enough to make his head bob for him. Kankri started to sweat. It was getting way too fucking difficult to keep himself from looking at cronus with all this good shit going down. Besides, the road was just going in a straight line, so it’d be fine, whatever, just a quick peek so he can fully enjoy this moment……………

Kankri looks down. The sight is fucking beautiful. Cronus’ lips around his bulge was hot as hell to look at, no doubt about it. This was totally worth it. The violetblood’s eyes are closed as he services kankle’s Troll Penis. God thats so fucking good looking god good god holy fuck hes perfect. Kankri cant take his eyes off of him hes doing such a good job yeah thats right cronus faster go faster god youre so good oh cronu-  
_“KANNY THE FUCKIN ROAD-“_

The car, with no one looking at the road, had been swerving ever-so-slightly to the right. By the time Cronus had opened his eyes and noticed Kankri looking away, it was too late.  
The car collided with a tree standing next to the road. The hood wrapped itself around the tree trunk and the car crumpled together. The force of the crash sent Kankri flying through the front windshield, shattering the glass and landing 56 feet away from the collision, his bulge still out. Cronus’s body did similar, but he flew straight into the tree’s bark, bouncing back off of it and landing motionless on the crumbled hood of the car, skin horribly scratched and bleeding profusely. Violet began to drip down the front of the car. Over where Kankri landed, two candy red puddles began to form; one beneath his head, and one beneath his bulge.  
The two had died immediately.

The force of the collision caused the trunk of the car to pop open. After a few moments of complete silence, waiting to hear if either Cronus or Kankri made a sound after the crash, Mituna Captor Himself deemed it safe to climb out of the open trunk.

He crept out, still wearing his McDonald’s uniform. The Mituna turned to look at what the crash had done to the car and its passengers and noticed the two corpses of his kidnappers.  
“H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H7H447JH7747D4 FUCK Y00UUU 8117TCHTH3577HHHH7H7H7H” Mituna held two middle fingers up at the dead bodies. “Y0U 4R3N7 7HR4FF1CK1NG 7H157H M07H3RFUC7HK3R 70D4Y”  
The yellowblood ran over to them and pissed on each of their corpses then ran back to work. Mituna is safe. All is well.

**Author's Note:**

> rip
> 
> this is part of an ongoing series please read the other fics too  
> i promise theyre all just as good


End file.
